Hi Guys and Gals!
I have been gone for maybe 10 days or so to SF and have
learned alot!
Whether it is of any interest to you, well, we'll see by any response I may receive; humbly hoping.
What I have learned:
Re: Karma
I have always understood karma to be "paying in experience for good deeds, or bad deeds either in this
life or some "past life".
I met with Florence Weatherly Booth Stork in SF, better
known as Angel, who set me straight.
Here, Grave might be able to address this.
Karma she said is anywhere from instantaneous to delayed experience based upon our EXPECTATIONS.
Further, she indicated that our expectations grow out
of our "beliefs" and are not always on top in our consciousness.
That truly we do "create our experience in and with
the World, as well as our internal experience, both "good
and bad", based upon 1.) our deep seated belief about
ourselves, rising to the expectation of experiences to
support our sub-conscious beliefs.
2) As a result of our beliefs and the ensuing expectations,
we in fact have the very experience in and with the
World and within ourselves that we have expected, and
deeper unaware beliefs about ourselves.
3) It doesn't work to read the above and "think" it makes
sense, and try to apply it by just changing our expectations. That is applying a bandaid to a festering wound.
4) The personal work is to identify the deep core "beliefs"
about ourselves that are bringing about experiences and
conflicts both internally and externally.
5) When we "understand" the "lie" in the belief, it is
exposed, and has a tendency to "poof" away.
When I asked Angel about the "pain" associated with
the deep psychic surgery she spoke of, she indicated
that the "pain" of this deep search will be there in fact,
because, guess what? Because we EXPECT it!
6) I got it! So, I responded, "You mean, the shedding,
the expanding, the growing, the regressing does not
have to be painful IF WE DON'T EXPECT IT TO BE?
She responded, EXACTLY!
7) So somewhere, we decided that growing could only
be achieved if identified as "Growing Pains"
So what is the answer to this dilema?
To Falion I offer:
I know the struggle and the pain of your internal struggle.
Truly, and no insult is intended, it is the "intellect" that
is getting in the way.
The thought processes that continue to feed upon themselves, increase your frustration and your anger first
with yourself, and as a result get projected outwards onto
others. This is a truly, loving observation, that a guest
posted for you, but you responded in anger, ouch!
Please Falion, if you have a chance to read this, I only
know as I too have suffered in the same way.
I have found that if I can catch the first "warning signs",
such as the tenseness in the shoulders, or an awareness
of a "downtrend" in mood, I say, "Aha!", here it comes again!"
I then lay down for abit, or sit in a chair, and I DO NOT
RESIST what comes. I stay with it, whatever images,
whatever horror, whatever nameless agony comes, I
ALLOW IT TO PASS THROUGH ME.
Usually, by the next day, the sun inside of me is shining
even more brightly than before, and I realize I am "freer"
than before.
Initially, I examined each and every allegation, and much
of that I did here on the forum, for everyone to see.
Yes, it was embarrassing, but I had hoped someone could
relate.
Seems, I have been ridiculed, and called erudite, and
ignorant, and holding superior Spiritual Knowledge at
bay, and and and.
Unfortunately, it seems that no one knows how much I
love all of you.
I am sorry my words come across in such a manner as to
offend, but believe me offense has never been in my
heart.
To Edina:
Those private emails, while they may pan out and be
true on some level, please disregard them and me if you
choose, what will be will be, and I am not in control of
the "big picture", I only sometimes become afraid at what
I "see". Know this. I now know that there are a multitudinous number of possible "futures", so I will
not worry. Forgive my involving you in my own struggle.
To Grave:
I apologize to you also, my dearest one, as I have involved you in a way that made you go away from me.
Please forgive me and let's move on.
Bluebird:
I don't know you well, but I appreciate your intelligence,
and the excellent manner in which you express yourself.
Hmmmm, have I forgotten anyone?
Please try to understand me, hopefully in a manner that
I haven't even been able to understand myself.
I am not so unusual, but fortunately/unfortunately, I am
sort of unique, and have suffered for myself, and I suffer
for you, why that is, I don't understand.
When you hurt, I hurt. Guess it is a boundary issue.
Please, let me know if there is any value in my contribution
Please let me know if you learn anything from me as I
always learn from you.
My love to all of you
Lizanne