Of What Good Is It Anyway?

[lizanne333]

I can soar to the heights!

I can bring back incredible insights!

I have a CONNECTION on high!

I can share my observations with others!

OF WHAT VALUE IS ANY OF THIS IF I CAN NOT GAIN
CONTROL OF THE PHYSICAL BODY AND THE BRAIN!

Stored in a series of filing cabinets within my brain
is the objective information of subjective experiences
from the moment of my physical manifestation
within my mother's womb.

I have found after 55 years of my life that uneknownst
to myself I have been repeating that "ENgraved"
information in my manifested everyday life.

Even though I know that I am repeating patterns
that are stored somewhere in the hardware of my
brain, I have been unable to direct that organ
to play a different tape.

So, just who is in control here??

The brain places NO value (good/bad) to the events
and the resultant perceptions of the world.

It just does what it is supposed to do.

Stimulus, internal, or external received by the brain,
unlocks stored information of previous perceptions
of previous events. One filing cabinet, upon releasing
its' information, connects to another filing cabinet,
which then {and according to its' PROPER function (on that
we can wonderfully/certainly rely)} dumps its' content into the sea of electro/chemical solution, where and when organization (according to previous programming) occurs,
this information is then absorbed, (maybe) by the
neurons, which in turn transmit this this information in
the form of a spark to other neurons, and then, well,
I lose my intricate vision here, but somehow the brain
releases this mummified, archived, old information
to the emotions, perceptions and ultimately to the body.
The body then acts out old stuff. The observer that
we all have, looks at the emotions, the behaviour,
and the reaffirmation of the repeated behaviour; {as that
information is delivered once again to the brain, where
the brain says, ah this is Good! (as the information
returned to it is in keeping with that which it sent out)}
and screams, NO! NO! this is not what I want to achieve!
It screams "This is not my intent. This hurts! Why, oh why
can I not manifest physically that which I know to be
true spiritually?" It is as though I do not have control
of my physical self here! Can I not dictate to my mind
directions that it will follow? Who is in control here?
Why does it seem as though I am subject to the
authority of the organism that is supposed to serve
me?

Why does it seem as though it has its' own agenda
that overrides my immediate and current needs?

I am furious! I am frustrated!

Does my body/brain think that it knows what is best
for me by re-creating painful experiences in the present
that in actuality occurred in the past?

Well, my friend, this has to and will stop!

Why? Because I say so! I am going to figure it out.

Again, if I can soar to the heights of glory in spirit, then
doggone it, I will reign over and be in control of the
organism in which I reside!!

Let's see how that statement plays out. Okay?

Pllease, any comments, that have capability of, when
viewed, being applied to this struggle, that give me the
control and the authority to achieve this goal, are
welcome!

Remember, I already have access to the spiritual
information, and at this point in time have not
seen a way through "greater light" as a means of
obtaining this control.

Thanking you in advance,
Lizanne

[peter]

" Time to come innnnnnnn" bobby's mother shouted.

We could always hear her first and the loudest. Later I was to find out she had six brothers and grew up in a Loud neighborhood, Brooklyn. To us though, playing Hide and Seek, it was the first hint that we would soon have to part for awhile. Our gang of young children, each of us out t/ here in the somewhere, hiding , from eachother and at the same time wondering if we would ever be found.

For me to play that memory now for you, is something akin to reminding myself that you are one of the gang .
"Lizanne!!! lizanne!!! I can hear someone shouting for you... ( it doesnt really mater to anyone else how well you have hidden.... Bobby Jacobs didnt show up for three days, once.) What did we know? it turned out that the jacobs went on a three day vacation. No one told us and the lights of their house were still on... No one went over there to get bobby. They had a BIIIG DOG. and everyone, including boby was afraid of that dog. So some how I was playing hide and seek with all the gang and then remember thinking that bobby had a reeeeeeeeeallly goood hiding place, cause we didnt see him again until he showed up to play hide and seek again.... I thought , " wow!!! I need to find a spot like that!!!!"
That voice that is calling you? is the rest of the gang looking for you and bobby. Its no trick. but please know ... it only matters to you how long you continue to play hide and seeeeeek and keeping youreself hidden ... from youreself.

funny ... how we all like games. even if they are real.

The division you have made is youre responseeeability. but you can play with us..... anytime....................peace.... p

[Grave]

What Bad is it either dear lizzane?


Grave(patience and silence, because it doesn't matter)

[lizanne333]

Thank-you Peter, Grave,

I am not understanding something here.

UGGGGH!

Bringing all the information within those file cabinets
into play would not be fun for me or you.

Contained within them is the HORROR of what was done
to me from the early years of life all the way forward to
6 mos ago.

They have been sealed away within me because they
are too horrific to integrate....and yet they play themselves out in behaviours that I cannot control.

The behaviours bring about the same response from
the world that the events of the past in fact originally
created in me.

I am afraid that if I open those file cabinets and look at
their contents that it will kill me.

And yet if I don't-they express themselves anyway-
but I try to hide it, by presenting myself as mellow
and try to act relaxed and cool. I try to appear that
I have it together when in fact, playing out inside
of my mind and recalling in the cells of my body is
the pain, constantly, of what happened to me.

Do I need to tell all, in order to be free of it.
Do I need to tell all in order to heal.
Or is there a way, that I can privately deal with this
agony without dumping the picture of the events
upon others.

I have always "felt" that I have been on the outside
of the party looking in; rejected; and in fact; because
I was/am not understood, do not know how to integrate
or have fun.

Sorry about this,
These are tender issues
Embarrassing

But here it is for all to see.....

Insight, please

Lizanne

[peter]

Maybe i should have written a short story about the woman who was chained to the post?

She pulled at that chain for years but it would not let her go. It was mounted to a terrifically thick black iron ring that was permenantly attached to a stone that weighed many tons...
Year after year she struggled and endured in a scrabbly and harsh world always Pulling and cursing her fate and the imovable chain in the stone. She just kept looking at what had become of her and cried . Forgotten in a tangled block. Seasons frozen in her heart, she still fought against her own declining spark. Her spirit of anger and bitterness cast all around in utter despair

Then one day..... while she slept .... a sparrow needing a little more nesting material saw a bit of lightly woven hair lying, a bit frayed, near her scarred ankle chain. The sparrow didnt know that the woman needed this little twine to keep her there. It didnt know she always looked at the chain-ring-stone in despair. That little sparrow just knew that a little of this bondage would help complete his nest for his new freind. So quietly and carefully the sparrow set her free.

She woke up again and again, like so many days, hardly moving, no longer thinking there are other ways to see.

[Grave]

lizanne333 said:

I am afraid that if I open those file cabinets and look at
their contents that it will kill me.

What makes us think that we are living?
Why should I be sorry for myself? What happened has brought me here, and this is alone, but beautiful, higher and more.
And this more... is LIFE
Dear friend, may be life does not mean to control after all. Difficult to digest this, my first impulsion is to rebel, but over time when i think over, I think it just might be possible.

lizanne333 said:

by presenting myself as mellow
and try to act relaxed and cool. I try to appear that
I have it together....

sometimes we can just start pretending to actually be who we are...
------------
Grave(there is a message for us on pg 44 and then on pg 65 "illusions")

[lizanne333]

Thank-you Peter,

You have effectively lent yourself to the despair!

Now that I am chained to a pole! (just kidding)
Ok, so truly, the sparrow has removed the last
vestiges of the chains that bind "me".

However, Kirilian Photography shows the Phantom
Chain still attached.

So "me" still believes-that is my brain still believes
that the information associated with the experiences
of the accumulation of each of those links in the chain is important.

One would think that I could inform the brain of the
need to STOP submitting that type of information
for publishing!

I have and it has not worked!

What comes first-the behaviour?

Or is it the brain's need (addiction) to be of use
somehow, and this is the only way it knows how to
be of use, by its contents into the sea of my
primordial thought.

I KNOW you guys have had these experiences ALSO!

I KNOW that you have limitations of manifestating what
you know spiritually, in the world of matter.

Maybe they don't interfere in your day to day life
as much as they do mine, but I KNOW they exist in
EVERY human being!

Nobody likes to talk about them, so they get swept
under the carpet, but isn't this forum about BREAKING
THROUGH TO THE OTHER SIDE? Recognizing our
self-imposed (all brain function here)limitations?
Is that not what RB addresses? Lets take it to a new
level, okay?

It has taken the dropping of an OVERIPE watermelon
upon the ground at your feet-SPLAT!!!!!!!!!!
to gain attention to it.

Unfortunately, it was the sacrifice of my watermelon,
which has left me watermelonless and vulnerable as
a result, but it is there none the less.

I am hoping, and maybe this is NOT the proper venue
for this type of discussion-but how amazing if we
can discover something here, such as:

I didn't KNOW that the physical body TRULY is not
who I am!

That in fact, "I" am TRULY a spiritual being, inside
of a physical cloak.

I SUSPECT that the being that I am DOES have the
ability to INSTRUCT the body and the brain to operate
in certain ways.

Now I turn to Science, because the understanding of the
body, by the body, is articulated through science.

I had hoped that in the pursuing of these goals
I would, again, be able to obtain this information
via the spirit.
The spirit speaks in a metaphoric language which can
be interpreted on many different levels, because
truly it "passes" through many different levels of
consciousness to surface in us.

The language of the body, however, and here I am
talking about the machine-oh yes, our physical body
is an independent objectective machine, with
blueprints mapped by mankind.

But why have I NOT heard of any Major Breakthroughs
in medicine about the reprograming, or rewiring of the
brain and its memory that does not require the tedious
re-hashing of the events and emotions associated
with those events?


I am talking about APPLIED Science. If it is not
available, well then I will settle with Theory, and
work with them on developing a science.

But I will be doggone if I am going to sit here and
friggin' go through all of those bleeding old files in those
dusty old filing cabinets ANY LONGER!

I would rather pull dandelions out of my lawn. There
at least I can wiggle my toes in the cool green richness
of its health.

Ya think this is bad? Listen!

I once knew a young woman from New York City. You
could tell something was unusual about her, in fact
you instinctively knew something was very wrong with
her. Her body was somewhat twisted, and you could
see that she was not born that way. She was full
of love for others, but at the same time when you looked
into her eyes (which you didn't want to do for a long
period of time) you could see a horror not unlike a
Stephen King novel.

As I got to know her, and heard from others that she
had a "rough go of it", she began to tell me of ONE
of her experiences.

When she was a child, oh, somewhere around 5 or 6
years of age, her parents wanted to to gambling
somewhere for the weekend.

They took this little girl and locked her in a large
wooden box in the basement, left her food and water
for the weekend. They left her there alone ALL WEEKEND!

When I heard this story, I recoiled, I know she told me
more about what that experience was like, but I couldn't
absorb it and hence cannot repeat it here.

So my dear friend Peter, is her current state of affairs
(should she still be with us, which I doubt) her responsibility?

Or should we look at it as her Karma? How dare we
categorize and excuse such distructive events as such!

I bought a Bundy flute from her for $50.00, because she
needed the money.
When she left town, she wrote me a check for
$1,000,000.00. As she gave it to me, she chuckled,
and told me she had just closed the account!

Whata sweetheart!

Lizanne

[peter]

..... l, i often shy away from clubs.

but i do like fish.///

chains are chains.. if they are youres? theyre youres. you have worked for them as you still do...
.peace , fish, Yoga?
they work for me..

[Grave]

After a while
the time ends,
of joy, of pain.

After a while
the difference ends,
a dull memory of the days.

In a while then
the newer stop,
the more halts,
a grey garden of past,
the only garden to walk.

After a while the stale
holds on to my face,
and tell me to be tired.
Will falls of all over the place,
diluted in blood
it drips,
sinking my origin
into the mud.

A space.....

Still no joy or pain,
for a while I think
unmoved by the flow.

And after a while
I will forget,
in while then..
I'd know

[/color]

Grave(observer)

[Falion]

Beautiful grave, an old - wise soul, truly.

[Grave]

Falion said:

Beautiful grave, an old - wise soul, truly.

Thank you falion.

And I'd like to mention it here again:

Wise souls sometimes encourge fools(by way of compliments and love) so that the fool may rise.

I appriciate you dear spirit..for encouraging me

[Edina]

Ahh Grave, I missed this. How could I?? Oh my...

I'll have to join Failon in his compliments and say, your poem is beautiful, wise and divine. I'm glad you shared it with us.

[Grave]

Edina said:

Zzzzzzzzzzzzz (editor: Grave )

Thank you Edina...

I wonder, of all the beautiful words and compliments we chose to give to each other as a symbol of warmth and re-assurance that we understand each other, in return the reciever is just able to say "Thanks"

I want to thank more, but I have to use the same word.. Trust me Edina and Falion, I mean more than a "thanks" when I thank ...

Thank you...

And I want to thank you for understanding it, may be more than I do, please say welcome

It was because of you, I re-read... and I see its not me who wrote

Grave(the other mind)

[lizanne333]

Dearest Grave



YOU ARE GETTING IT!





Lizanne

[Grave]

lizanne333 said:

Dearest Grave



YOU ARE GETTING IT...

A question, a statement, or a wakeup call ?

Grave