rokclmr
Full Member
"When you're learning to face the path at your pace, every choice is worth your while."
Posts: 30
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Post by rokclmr on Jun 12, 2002 12:03:07 GMT -5
I am finding myself staggering around my little world right now, mind working overtime, and I'm looking for some advice. Any assistance will be greatly appreciated.
I've recently realized that I am REALLY not doing what I was meant to do in life. I think I've known this for a while, but the knowledge has stopped being a quiet, whispering voice in the back of head, and has become loud, obnoxious, and refuses to shut up and be ignored any longer. However, the path that I need to take is littered with "Are you insane!?", and "Omigod, you're blowing your best chance at security.", and, best of all "How are you going to survive?". These trash piles are daunting, and difficult to face. I know the only person I am responsible to is myself, and that I can quit anything at any time, and that my limitations are mine if I choose them, however;
My question is, how do you deal with the naysayers... esp. if you are related by blood to them? Some may find it easy to turn their backs and walk on that path, but I have deep family ties, and their support, while not necessary, is important. What do you say to these people to make them see that everything will work out, and not to be concerned? How do you get that thought pattern across?
And, while I'm thinking about it, what makes you take the first step? What makes you able to let go of the "security blanket" and move forward? I'm thinking self-assuredness and confidence in the future, but hey.. I dunno.... and am stumped.
Thanks for your time, in advance.
Rokclmr
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Post by ray on Jun 14, 2002 7:37:43 GMT -5
Dear friend! I guess no one can decide better than ourselves about our life and i guess if you think you are right, you shouldn't be hesitating coz of your dear ones.I guess its more important that you should be ready to take full responsibilty of your life and work towards getting what you want outta your life. Good luck!!!!!!! Its very important that you are ready for all the pros and cons of your decision and shouldn't regret later,Think hard i guess the pain is worth experiencing to make a right decision for yourself. take care!!!!!!!!!
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Kitt
New Member
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Post by Kitt on Jun 14, 2002 11:08:41 GMT -5
Hey there!
I used to have a bookmark that said "A ship in a harbour may be safe, but that's not what ships were made for."
About 8 years ago, almost to the day, I ended up in a situation where the path I had thought I had chosen for my future came tumbling down around my ears. Part of the reason, I think, that this happened is that I had ignored my intuition a couple of years before and listened to people who dismissed it.
At any rate, I had an opportunity at the time of the crash to move down here to NM. My mother, in particular, thought it would be more sensible for me to move back with them, but I figured at this point I had nothing to lose. I don't mind telling you the first year was as close to hell as I have yet experienced. But then I took another chance on something (the job I have now, as it turns out) that looked, at first, like a cool thing that was also unfortunately not what I thought I needed to have. I took it anyhow, and in less than three months, everything had worked out.
I am saying that everything you do is a chance. The chance that I took I thought would lead me to a certain path ended up crashing and burning. But it prepared me amazingly well for another one in which I think I am much happier. There are no guarenteed results, so go for it.
As Ray said, it is you who is going to end up with the consequences of your decision either way.
Take care, Kitt
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rokclmr
Full Member
"When you're learning to face the path at your pace, every choice is worth your while."
Posts: 30
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Post by rokclmr on Jun 14, 2002 11:25:29 GMT -5
Ray and Kitt:
Thank you so much for your honest and open answers to my quandary. They are greatly appreciated. All will progress as I plan, in its own time, one small step at a time. I'm certain that the explanations to other persons will present themselves when they are necessary.
Just finished RB's "One". Really helped out with this situation.
A quote that hit home the day I posted my initial message:
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer, but wish we didn't." -- Erica Jong
I wholeheartedly thank you again. This discussion group is a thrill to read, and allows me to scratch my brain with challenges to my thought patterns... how rare a gift.
Best to all, Rokclmr
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Post by ray on Jun 14, 2002 22:46:21 GMT -5
Good Luck, rokclmr:) Take care! love, Ray Hi!!!Kitt!!!!!! love, ray
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Post by MEKrewson on Jun 14, 2002 23:49:25 GMT -5
A small story, fiction? Only the writer knows for sure...(smile)...take it for a smile around the laughter!
I looked around my world one day, surrounded by "what if", its cousin, "if only", and "maybe", accompanied by "yesterday" and "tomorrow".....I needed a break from this crowd.
So I took "chance", a friend of mine, to see "change"..."chance" thought "change" might have a new perspective, a fresh thought to help me deal with my current companions in my world.
You see, in my world then all I had were those five above, and I felt I needed more in life, hell, I needed a Life! They were not contributing to it in any productive way, yet was I not supporting their very existence? For what?
Yes, I needed "change", so I took the advice of "chance" and made a visit.
Now to visit "change" was not easy, it required the escort of "chance", and he was not always sure of the way to "change"...but we did arrive somehow, and upon explaining to "change" how I felt I needed more in Life than my five companions...he quietly guided me to a mirror. Here he asked me simply to describe to him what I saw...hey! Sounded odd to me! "Change", all I want is ....and the words fell to the floor...no, "change" said, look into the mirror and tell me what you see.
So to please "Change" , I did...and what I saw was a stranger staring back at me...it was "me", but who was that? How could I know after living so long with "what if, "if only", "maybe", "yesterday", and"tomorrow"? There I learned from "change" , having brought "chance", about "today"....here I learned that in the presence of "today" and "chance" , "change" is never faraway....yes, now I could move forward with new friends, with farewells to the old and greetings to the new, I was glad to have met "change". I still visit "yesterday and "tomorrow", but they cannot compare to "today"... ----------------
For what its worth, in reality I have found it so simple to understand and as complicated as I chose to make it, and I love complicating simple things until it hurts, learning to work with change is easier witout the pain.
..."you need to become the change you want to see"....Ghandi said it, only thing he ever said I remember, but it stays with me daily now living in a constant state of positive change to be what I want to be.
Story was kind of fun to play with...remember, take time to laugh in the hard times, scares the shyt out of "fear"!(smile)
I do listen to that "inner voice" alot now, its one step away from the angels, who are always on-call, usually only needed when I choose not to listen to the "inner voice" we all have, and too often ignore.
Good luck, stay crazy, the world becomes more alive when you do!
M.E. Krewson...."Just another day in paradise..."
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Post by ray on Jun 16, 2002 0:49:36 GMT -5
Hello.M.E.Krewson, Its a wonderful post, its a pleasure to read your posts. Thank you for the wonderful words! How much ever, i wanna live my today, it always eludes me, i will try my best though. love, Ray.
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Post by MEKrewson on Jun 16, 2002 2:30:31 GMT -5
An exercise for the mind:
For one day, and this make take some planning to pick that day...decide ahead of time that in this day you are going to focus on the moment when you are in the moment. Sure, we all must make plans, destinations, life's "chores"...but past that, we basically reside in the "moment"...try living in it, be aware of it, experience your thoughts in it, play in it!
I practice this as well...some days well, some days we all get lost in shyt...but the act of doing anything well requires practice. What I have learned is to practice to create those changes I want to see.
You can substitute anything in this exersice, I just happen to use the "moment" as my example as I have come to see how much of my time was being wasted in all the other areas I had no control over. ...but the "moment"...that we all have!
I also thought it might be wise to work on this now before the time comes when I am in my last "moment" here in this world...better to learn now how to live in the moment, I doubt there will be much time to learn it then...in that last "moment".(smile)
Take care Ray, always a pleasure to see a smile!
M.E. Krewson....."Revival is not an overnight epiphany, or a tent-meeting result. Practice does not make perfect; it makes the result of my efforts more coherent." T.Rose
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Post by ray on Jun 17, 2002 5:27:05 GMT -5
Hello, M.E.Krewson.... Yes, I am smiling again!!!!!!!!! Thanks for the beautiful words. I do not remember who said this, but these words are on my mind after reading your post. There will not be another "now" I will make the most of today. There will not be another "me" I will make the most of myself. love, ray
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rokclmr
Full Member
"When you're learning to face the path at your pace, every choice is worth your while."
Posts: 30
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Post by rokclmr on Jun 17, 2002 11:09:23 GMT -5
"A small story, fiction? ...." Again, perspective from another voice. What a beautiful way to put the situation in focus, M.E.Krewson. I truly appreciate your letter(s), and what opinions they hold. Living for/in the moment seems to be a simplistic approach to a broader situation, but then, are all situations simplistic, when boiled down? I think I've had glimpes of "moment living", but to live a life in that manner will definately take practice. And time. Ray: "There will not be another "now" I will make the most of today. There will not be another "me" I will make the most of myself." Your quote hits the nail directly square on its head... very apt, and to the point. Thanks for sharing that. All the best to all of you, Rokclmr "If you limit yourself only to what seems reasonable or possible, you disconnect yourself from what you truly want, and all that's left is compromise." Robert Fritz
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LL
Junior Member
Posts: 15
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Post by LL on Jul 11, 2002 17:57:55 GMT -5
Nice story MEKrewson and how true
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