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Post by lizanne333 on May 9, 2005 13:49:29 GMT -5
Upgrade, Ok, So I need to write, and if I lose it, well, so....
Okay, Lizanne
Time to put the dreams away, is it not? Once again you thought a dream was reality, and guess what girl, it was just a dream.
How embarrassing, to think that, one who says don't give it up, all dreams within you, on the edge of being seen, and I misconstrued it, and thought it was real, only to see, again I teased myself, to think that there would ever be anyone who would want to know me. I am so lonely, for one such as me, nothiiing else, noone else will do, 'till I find the one who will hold me near, so close as the breath, and heal my wounds that I may live, and come alive for once!
I have so much to give, won't one come unto me, and I will hold you until the clouds stop crying, and the sun starts shining, and every tear shall disappear, I will with my hair envelop you unto me, into me, and hold you tight, that you might be healed, and free at last, in me.
Jumping my Harley, or cruising in yellobee, no separation anymore between you and me, fly with me for awhile, into the sea, my hair floating free, a life of its' own, but for you and all who have need, please come to me and I will hold you to my breast, and shake with your crying, until, until, you are free, and then maybe I will be free also. Oh come untome! Don't know how long I can hang on without you!
Mary Elizabeth Anne Medaris-Rose-Thompson Lizanne333=Completion
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Post by Edina on May 9, 2005 17:04:17 GMT -5
No need to worry, all threads and posts will remain after the upgrade. Please read again what I posted in the pinned topic above.
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Post by peter on May 11, 2005 8:37:02 GMT -5
squezzer's paw and purr's rest warmly on my shoulder as he drifts in and out of " Welcome BACK!!!!!! " Where ya been? " Any goodies"? tail swishaling back and fourth while continually turning towards me with her searching eyes and paws that love to seeek the corner of my mouth as if i might be missing something in life if I dont lick her feet.... Nice to be back... The White treee has fully bloomed into leaf.... I had another impromptu grill gettogether and a half a dozen apartment owners made it a fun time......... guest.... woodchuck_rule39@yahoo.com is my addy..... www.mickiegarden.com is one also....... time to play a bit of golf and shop for a goood wine to go with a seared tuna ( yummmmmmmm) BLOTTER RULES!!!!!!.... i hope all is well in forum land.....
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Post by lizanne333 on May 11, 2005 13:47:37 GMT -5
In sultn' land there once was a man with eyes brite as the sun heart full of all the ones surrounding his light, but never such a one as he who offers to him himself, but then again, already full of all the fun all the fish he could want, and has no room or need for more! He is complete.
Step back, step back to see watch your toes, that they might not be trampled upon, Softly move away, quiety so not needed here, Time to go
Lizanne
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Post by Falion on May 11, 2005 21:53:54 GMT -5
Happy Birth-day Bird...How is everybody doing? me? fine and dandy, Kicking ass of course....Im about to start reading "Illusions" again for the second time..This second experience is a whole different realm after studying so damn much Zen, and quantum physics!!!! Just within the first half of the chapter a clarity is apparent...well .....i need to start a topic dont I...?...i will ponder one and fire away...take care everybody
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Post by peter on May 12, 2005 6:05:14 GMT -5
hey fallion!!!!!!!! check out national geographic(may) ..... talking about physics and illussions..... wow.... have you seen what hubble is showing us? talking about a piece of fly dung on an a grain of sand...... goood to hear youre voice!!!... .......planting any flowers? now there is a universe!!!! treees too.....peace.p
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Post by Falion on May 12, 2005 12:25:26 GMT -5
Yes ive checked that article out. Beautiful pics ..gorgeous!!....Cant imagine what the rest of this universe looks like...we cant even comprehend its physical beauty, no dought....and hey its very good to hear your voice as well!....no flowers planted..yet..ive been clearing up my back yard actually, no grass, just desert dirt, piling large rocks, manual labor, its a great work out!....ifeel so alive pushing myself that way, getting dirty and banged up..it sounds strange but lately ive been so keen on realizing the "quality" of this life....its what truly matters to me right now.......QUALITY....... hope to read from you soon....ciao!
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Post by peter on May 13, 2005 12:26:22 GMT -5
f..... Stones? Dirt? Work? yup, !!!!!! a real Meditation..... Plants? water? blood optional.... The name of my construction company was EarthStone Construction... The Logo years ago used ot read... " When you touch stone, You touch eternity".... i caught a bunch of flak for that from "Real Men" .... litttle did they know that artistcraftsman get to charge a hell of alot more money for what we do..... Enjoy the sweat.... its good for ya.... me? yeah... me toooooooo...peter
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Post by peter on May 15, 2005 7:05:08 GMT -5
Snowball Humble snoogled on his back( the way we all do) while doing an exercise that blotter said he learned from Homelet, Matai's teacherfriend. "The idea " blottter said , "Is to flow with the river you live in live in live in". snowball drifted off as he ussually did as he "tried too hard" blotter said many times.. .."Its not that you shouldn't sleep or dream but rather live for the space inbetween those two".
Snowball wasn't suprissed when a quieter deeper sense of living happened as he found he was no longer sleeping or drifting but rather standing in a lovely glade with a beautiful smiling shinning happy Arrdvark. "Hi, Im sooo glad that you could make it" she said..."My name is "AA" " . " blotter said that you would come here one morning' Snowball just stared as he had never heard of a creature, what he was looking at, but he wasnt afraid, just currious....
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Post by lizanne333 on May 15, 2005 8:57:10 GMT -5
Peter says:
Peter, if you will, if you can, will you please expound upon the above?
I understand asleep=unawake, unaward
I understand dream=had a few of those too when both asleep and certainly awake
But I don't understand that which is between the two?
If you would?.....
Lizanne
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Post by peter on May 16, 2005 6:23:33 GMT -5
Snowball's eyes gazed at aa for what seeemed along time. There were no thoughts, just a smile and an inner quiet balance that he recognized.
"Oh , this is what blotter has been talking about" snowball laughed inside,not outside. It sounded funny anyway. aa seemed to catch his moood through his eyes and sent her own smile ,full of peace and indescribable beauty back to him, soothing his worries . They just stood there. Humble thought about the glade he was in as he cast his eyes around. "Is this where blotter and aa had met so many times?" aa came close, almost within touch as she let humble know, "yes , this is a very special place for us". "and now that you have found youre way, I hope you will come anytime" aa whispered "humble was noticing that when he focussed on aa she seemed to be, well , sort of winking in and out of his focus... he felt a bit upset for a moment.
" Humble, dont stare at me. Just let youre eyes rest easily in this place. " If you "try" to see you are going to pass out." " that was what almost happpened just now when you felt funny" " You are doing fine" Humble regained his balance as he thought about and felt how wonderous this place was. " where are we?"
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Post by lizanne333 on May 16, 2005 8:17:54 GMT -5
Peter,
Thank-you, I see it there, have to study it, will peer upon it throughout the day, and maybe I will gain first the understanding as it relates in me? Then second, if I can find any similar experience, maybel then I can look for it to again manifest in my daily moments.
But I am not clear yet on the essence of the experience. I am sure it is there, will just take a bit of time here.......
Thank-you so much for caring! Lizanne
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Post by peter on May 17, 2005 7:57:43 GMT -5
aa thought a moment and told humble that he would know "where" he was if he took the time take notice of all the memory he had... " what do you mean , ALL THE MEMORY?" humble started to argue.. aa smiled and assured him not to worry or be afraid... " Its not that hard, you will remember when its youre time." "So, while youre gatherwaiting , just let youre eyes feast on this place..." PAYYYYYY Attention" Humble had always heard blotter saying the same thing... and still wondered what he meant by that.. Wasn't he paying attention? "aa?' "Yes Humble" "When you say Pay Attention, what are you meaning?" humble thought to aa. aa's eyes started to change shape and brightnesss as she smiled for humble.. "Watch but dont stare at me. I'll show you the difference between a few levels of attention" and with that aa started move slowly away from humble. but not in a direction that made any sense. It looked like she was starting to mimic the colors of the backround she was part of.. humble had trouble seeing her in just a few moments and then.. she was gone... Humble passed out....
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Post by lizanne333 on May 17, 2005 9:11:23 GMT -5
Peter, regarding AA, says:
Looking within my own experience for something I can relate this passage to, and using "metaphor" for I am not sure yet where the above experience is in my memory, and yet I sense it is there, and I think it is important....
AA, is it something like that moment when in meditation, I begin to feel a tingling sensation, first in my hands, but if I let it, or if I allow my awareness of it to follow its' path, I begin to notice it spreading more and more throughout my entire body? The top of the head almost hurts with the "vibration" of this sensation. Usually, I am able to feel it most at the end of a great EXHALE. I stay with it as long as I can, but then I too, let it go, and fall asleep.
Is it my awareness fully present in the body, fluctuating between enjoying the sensations in the body, and paying attention to the source of the external stimulation of the beauty of the glade?
I have had these experiences since I was 18, where prior to sleep, my body has been entirely "siezed" by an intense tingling sensation, frightening somewhat, as I am still conscious, but now I can't move physically. I then notice it feels like my body is being lifted up off the bed and very rapidly moving towards the closet, or the wall.
I, at this point become so afraid, that I literally force the stoppage of these sensations, make mental note of what has occurred, and then fall asleep.
Too many questions, I know, but, somehow it seems as though I am so afraid of "life", all of "life" that is available to me, that I resist these experiences as they are unlike anything that seems "normal" in this world, and I don't want to act crazeeeeeee!, or act inappropriately. Thanking you in advance, for it seems you understand such things!
Lizanne
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Post by peter on May 18, 2005 7:37:54 GMT -5
when humble opened his eyes it was dark. He felt hungery and very thirsty. He had trouble focusing and noticed there was a strange smell all around him. He came to his senses slowly. He was very stiff as if he hadnt moved in a long while.... His eyes were adjusting to the low light . Humble had never seen this den before but felt a safe home right away. "Safe, content, quiet" he thought . this room feels so famaliar. 'Like ,.....? " then he knew, it just came to him. He was absolutely sure. This was Blottter's home!!!!.. In all the time he knew blotter he had never been here but he was sure. It "felt" like his place. Humble let himself back down onto the most comfortable bedding he had ever felt. The smell of a blueberry luarel surrounded him almost as if there was a smoky quality to it. Humble closed his eyes and let his thoughts drift around the room. What happened to him? how did he get here? Who was he talking to? Humble knew he was with someone special but.... why couldnt he remember? why couldn't he remember ? The more he tried to think about so many questions the more upset he got. It was all slippping away and humble felt like he couldn't hold on. humble started to feel more and more upset and nervous. he started to notice the room. in a shock noticed a shape sitting right there in the corner. Not moving. Its eyes were open and for a moment humble thought they were shining. Bloter just sat unmoving and breathing deeply and evenly as humble continued to try and focus. It was difficult. It was as if blotter didn't want humble to see him. " What a strange thought". The more humble tried the less he could see Him. Humble was getting very tired all of a sudden. He closed his eyes, just to get a moment to collect his thoughts or try too. He reopened his eyes with the desire to ask blotter what was happening, but..... he wasn't there...
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