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Post by Kerry on Aug 15, 2003 10:38:21 GMT -5
I initially read the books as I was falling in love with my first (foreshadowing) wife. She seemed to be a free spirit from California and I was just completing the drudgery of law school in Washington, D.C. after growing up in the Midwest. Both she and the books struck a chord. A decade and two wonderful sons later, the marriage failed after I found out she had an affair. After swearing off serious relationships and going through several wonderful but "safe" relationships over a year plus, I came back into contact with my college sweetheart who had also recently divorced. We fell madly in love, I proposed at sunrise at Machu Picchu eight months after our first date, and we married in September 2002. This summer I felt a pull to re-read my favorite trio of Bach novels, Illusions, Bridge and One, after reading them initially over a decade ago.
Three days ago, after reaching the point in Bridge (I started out of order with my favorite) where Bach falls for Parrish and describes her as being so beautiful, I decided to see if I could find a photo of the author and Leslie Parrish and biographical details about them. I was completely surprised when I found out they had divorced and went through the range of emotions many of you did way back.
Although I was immediately disappointed and disillusioned, this lasted only a few days. Bach does not consider himself a prophet of any sort, but many of us do. Even so, there is a difference between the prophet falling short of the ideal and the greater truth in the message. People fail, but there are universal truths and insights that transcend. Simply put, Bach's failings as a father and husband, if any, do not diminish the epiphany of his message.
One other humble insight: I am listening to Bridge on audiotape and it is read by Richard and Leslie. It is fascinating to hear them interact and hearing their own voices and inflections adds insight to many of the passages. It is very rewarding to me and may be for you as well.
Final thought. Don't forget that Richard didn't think marriage was right for him and even goes on at great length explaining that many men with a strong vision fail at maintaining a satisfying, long term personal relationship with a partner. If at all possible, forgive Richard for his human failings and rejoice in the gifts he brings to us all.
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Post by Jorge E on Apr 23, 2004 23:05:37 GMT -5
GREAT....!!!
Very Good
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Post by Annie on May 24, 2004 5:51:38 GMT -5
Dear Kerry,
Thank you for your comment.
I have been reading some of the comments on here, and wondering when some of our family would remember why they are here? Because Richard spoke to them...somehow, whatever the thought that inspired them the most, he spoke to them.
The thing I feel most interesting is:
Most fictional books are an allegory for the author's own life, Richard was just more honest than most in stating that this was what he was going through.
His letter on his website about 'Susan and Robert' (whatever he calls the male character) could have been the characters of A Bridge Across Forever and One, but he called a Spade a Spade, (or if you like, A Richard, a Richard!).
Thank you again.
Annie
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Post by a huge fan on May 25, 2004 11:22:05 GMT -5
Bravo, Kerry! Excellent post and you speak the truth. It is the gifts we take with us, their personal lives are just that - personal. And nothing can take away the very real experience of the journey they shared; with each other and with us. If the destination shifts for one or the other (in other words, both) then so be it. No one has been cheated ....
The fictional character was "Roger"
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Post by Kerry on Jun 8, 2004 2:22:59 GMT -5
Dear friends,
I checked this site for several months to see if there was anyone else out there who shared my perspective. I made the original post shortly after my former wife, and the woman I thought was my soul mate, filed to move with our children across the country. With no response of any kind for several months, I quit checking the site.
This week it appears that my former wife has decided that it is better for our sons to stay in the same community. This re-affirms the love I once had for her was valid and that, although we have drifted apart, there is a moment in time that was real and meaningful. I was up late tonight preparing for a business trip and thought I would check in, if only to see if I still believed what I wrote a year ago. I am delighted to see the thoughts and support from others.
Annie -- it is good to find a kindred spirit. I know that I will read some or all of my favorite Bach books each decade and find different insights each time. I am delighted to be married to a woman who lives in the moment and treasures the wonder of discovery another soul. Richard was right even if he and Leslie did not pan out -- you can cover a lot of ground by gaining intimate knowledge of many people, but you can only experience the true depth and self-discovery of an interpersonal relationship by working through each layer and discovery the inner beauty of another person. I could not live like Richard, knowing the beauty of true intimacy but being unsuccessful or unable to achieve it. However, I will always be grateful to Richard for opening the door to a new way of viewing the world (and even to my ex-wife for introducing me to Richard Bach and Scott Peck.)
Huge Fan: I found meaning in your comments, especially "nothing can take away the very real experience of the journey they shared; with each other and with us. If the destination shifts for one or the other (in other words, both) then so be it. No one has been cheated .... "
Well said.
I would also suggest that those of us who experienced revelation while reading Bach share their favorite books, music and movies. Here are a few of mine:
Movies:
My Dinner with Andre (Another suggestion from my first wife)
Defending Your Life
Chasing Amy
The Sting
The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance
Grand Canyon (Marginal choice, but it rang true for me)
The Fog of War
Animal House (I know it is not noble, but it is honest!)
Pretty in Pink (Hokey, but I love the soundtrack and Ducky)
This is Spinal Tap
Sex and Lucia (Very romantic, steamy movie)
Casablanca
Music:
Anything by Lloyd Cole and the Commotions
What a World, Rufus Wainwright (Please check this out!)
Anything by The Fine Young Cannibals
Anything by Melissa Etheridge
Pink Floyd, The Wall
Mannfred Man, For You
Yaz, Only You
Books:
Anything by Michael Connely (mystery writer)
Man's Search for Meaning, Victor Frankl
Bridge – Bach
The Firm, John Grisham (I am a lawyer, Georgetown ’89, and this book rang true in part; I still am amazed at how good this book was and how pedestrian everything else Grisham has written is. The Firm was inspired and I could read it over and over again. The other books have a decent start, fade quickly and end up trying to make a weak statement with a clunky conclusion.)
Presumed Innocent, Scott Turow
Thomas Covenant Trilogies, Stephen R. Donaldson (Think Tolken, only a bit darker)
To those that posted in this thread, thank you! It really made my day and redeemed my faith in Richard Bach and his fans. I hope to read more from you soon!
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Post by grp on Jul 8, 2004 21:35:02 GMT -5
"People fail, but there are universal truths and insights that transcend. "
Failure is a matter of perspective.
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Post by Suzinn on Aug 15, 2004 19:15:58 GMT -5
I had a similar experience. Ten years ago,also madly in love and having read Illusions, Bridge and One I got married to what I believed was my soulmate. Only 3 years and a child later did I have the realisation that we were much better friends than lovers. We had different passions. He was an obsessive compulsive skydiver and I was an obsessive compulsive musician. I think because we respected the passion in each other, with no desire to change that in either one of us, we decided to get divorced. Although this was sad for both of us, it was done very amicably with our daughter's best interests at the fore. We both moved on into different relationships and for years I thought of my marriage as a failure. But then I realised that my marriage might have been a failure but my relationship with my ex-husband is a huge success! We managed to overcome the harshness of being human by realising that staying together was toxic and therefore agreed to change the dynamics of our relationship. By doing this, to this day he is still my best friend and we have preserved our friendship. There is no anger or jealousy between us (or our spouses because they can see there is no threat) and therefore I consider us to have scored many points on the karma scale. I dont believe there is ever only one soul mate for anyone. There are different souls that meet our needs at any specific time in our lives. Part of our learning here is to know when to let go and when to move forward to the next lesson. All our learning is done through relationships. Staying in one that is not moving forward is simply denying your soul the opportunity to grow. But you have to be brave to admit this and it takes a different attititude from both sides in order for the lessons to be learnt. Richard and Les were brave enough to do this and I applaud them for it. If everyone had that attitude, the world would be a friendlier place and the courts would not be filled with hoards of bitter people trying to hold on to something that is already dead.
Love and Light
Suzinn
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