My journey told...

[wynsong]

I've been reading several threads here as I try to catch up to a community that has existed long before I knew they did, and have run across things written for which I have no frame of reference to begin to understand what the person was saying...
I have no problem with that.

I've started a formal journey into exploring my shamanistic nature, which has left me with a map of a future for which I have no points of reference, and therefore no ability to go to my brain (admittedly a well trained left side *=ing safety*, and slightly languishing right side that has always found ways to express its truth by having me read other peoples words about their own journeys -- reading is "good" and proper in my tribal past) .
I had no problem with that.

I'm feeling the need to tell my map, yet I know that I don't really want anyone interpreting it...so I'm wondering at my need to tell it.

The first formal journeys I was sent on, came back safe...and with interesting bits of information about how I operate my life...I am inclined to have power animals appear that start as one animal and morph into something else...usually more powerful, scarier ...desired/admired (the stuff of shadows) ...

The first time I had someone do a soul journey for me , was safe enough, but the contract wasn't mine, and I was happy to let someone else, in my sacred drama take the healing.....(more shadow stuff)

The next time....the contract was invisible....and when I was guided to find out what it had to tell me, it became apparent that I was carrying familial stuff, that needed to be cleared...

The last journey...the contract was non verbal...it was a blue whale...before the journey there was also an orb (I think it was blue, but that may have been an add on I've made since) that was filled with a clear water like substance in which floated an oak leaf... that was floating in the universe...or the space between the universes...then the journey began an I got my whale with barnacles and some mussels attached to some rocks....during the sacred drama, I let go of the barnacles, and released the mussles....at which point the rocks disappeared...
My soul piece was a mitochondria divided into two parts --male and female
My gift was a lump of gold, which morphed into a crown, which I would not accept during the drama, because I didn't know what it would cost me, and I didn't want any more invisible contracts

an aside...I had just renovated and moved into a new office without a lease...and was seeing the pattern in my life of entering into contracts where I only knew what I wanted, but only a vague idea of what was expected of me in return, and in every case, with nothing written down, what was verbally expressed kept changing to give me less and my contractee more....
and the power animal was a lizard that changed into a bird...a fluttery, non intimidating bird...
during the drama I accepted the mitochondria, as that was not an issue for me...the powerhouse of the cell...the uniting of my male and female sides to a unified one....I was good with that being my journey in that moment
The lump of gold/crown I rejected...because of my fear of the cost...what was I going to have to become to deserve that crown...
The lizard and bird were not scary as presented so I stepped into them...the lizard felt fine, but the bird was not a bird. As I moved to the bird, it morphed into a pheonix. Had I not already been in it, I would not have stepped into it. Same reasoning as the crown....who do I need to be to be a pheonix....
I was ready to step into a new way of being, but I had a real problem with being "special"...or "powerful"....there are some really strong inhibitions to standing out...There is that thing they do to messiahs....
But the die was cast...I was already in the pheonix, and its message to me was not just of the birth, death, rebirth cycles....but also about how denied or not, the pheonix lives in me....and that doesn't make me special or stand out...as it lives in everyone...even if they deny it.....
And with the pheonix inside of me awake and aware....i went back to the crown...no longer hiding out as a lump of gold....and discovered that there was again no cost, beyond accepting what is already there....the I am crowned as is everyone, whether I own it or not, and that seeing that crown in others, would be its gift to me as I re-incorporated the male/female mitochondria into my life....
It was later that I started to deal with the images of the wound....the girl with the shamanic eyes who watched as a Father Christmas type figure cloaked and face hidden faded slowly from the map.

I have to run...errands ...kids and dogs!

so now I'll have to sit with this being in the public forum...while I'm away doing my own form of illusions.

[lizanne333]

Oh Sweet Lady,

Thank-you so much....

So, and we each have our day, and our time when it is right, to allow that crown to be presented and worn.

And so there is also the day one realizes the phoenix inside also rising out of the ashes with such force into a new world, the force being necessary to break through and out of the womb into a new universe.

And yes, these two experiences are available to each and every one of us, and I suspect that we must experience them and own them, as this is apre-requisite to continued attainment! ;D

But the moment the crown is delivered, we immediately rush to take the glory away from us and demean the experience by saying, "I'm special, oh and so is everyone else..."

Truly, and I am finding that you are entitled to your center stage of glory, wynsong, and I am more than happy, to bow my head in your glorious light. It takes nothing away from me for you to say "I am special" Why does it take your glory away from you?

Please, Winsong, stand in the light with your crown, I need you to do this, and then maybe some day I will be able to do the same. ;D

And we worry about ego.....and we suffer because of our misconceptions about the healthy ego's proper place in our experience, and so we stomp it, and squish it, and don't realize that it too must be "naturally" integrated into our psyche.....

It is such a relief to me, dear wynsong, to have found you to talk to, for you have great understanding of these things, and if you don't understand, or don't have a clue, and here is your crowning glory!you go out, you search for an answer, to deliver to another in hopes that the other in their own struggle will benefit from your offering. This other has dear one, and I present you with the crown myself, and in fact in this moment, I will loan you mine, or even give it to you.


I love you, enjoy your magnificent light!, courageous one!

-L

[lizanne333]

Wynsong,

I am also here. I can come out to talk with you here.....

There is much to discuss....

If you will

-L

Sidenote:

You seem angry, Winsong in your last post in the hobbit hole
If you have questions, please ask them...I refuse to entangle, I cannot "endure it"...if you see me, then you understand what I am talking about...
I have much to learn from you, and I ask you, do you feel you have things to learn from me?..., by the way, my life has been posted here on a public forum for quite awhile, and I hide behind nothing, ......my true name is Lizanne333, and yours?

-L

[wynsong]

lizanne333 said:

Wynsong,

I am also here. I can come out to talk with you here.....

There is much to discuss....

If you will

-L

Lizanne, I was not here...so if it looked like I was, it was because my computer doesn't seem to sign me out when I leave this board and go somewhere else on the net. I've been at work since 8:30 a.m. (it is now 7:30p.m.)

Sidenote:

You seem angry, Winsong in your last post in the hobbit hole
-L

I was not angry...nor am I now.

I don't understand 3/4 of what you say, and there seems to be more than one of you that writes....and I don't need to understand.

I am not interested in saving the masses...that is their journey. I am interested in journeys and love to learn.

[lizanne]

wynsong,

at least when more than one of me writes, the "same" name is attached to it.

So, you can sort of figure, maybe Lizanne is having a rough day.......

But when people use different handles it can get really confusing, no,?

I mean having the ability to "see" gets downright messed on up.

If you are wondering about the "anger" issue, please refer to your own post to me in the hobbit hole, which sounded to me pretty much like someone else I know....but that is all okay, no?

-L

[wynsong]

Lizanne, am I to understand from your last post that you believe I'm writing under more than one name....
Not true, but of course you are free to believe whatever you wish.

I've made several replies directly to one of your posts in the Hobbit Hole thread, you'd have to help me out with whichever one you feel is similar to someone else...

As I said in this thread...I'm pretty left brain dominant...so I try to deal with what is in front of me...my "vision" is a little limited beyond my own time space place.

In the Shamanic tradition I am studying...the West has Jacguar as its archetype, and one of its lesson to us is that we have no need for fear, as we have no enemies in this world or the next. I will hope that you can find your jacguar Lizanne...I am sorry that I seem to have been swept up in whatever troubles you feel you have in this community.

[lizanne]

BACK ON TRACK!

wynsong says:

In the Shamanic tradition I am studying...the West has Jacguar as its archetype, and one of its lesson to us is that we have no need for fear, as we have no enemies in this world or the next. I will hope that you can find your jacguar Lizanne...I am sorry that I seem to have been swept up in whatever troubles you feel you have in this community.

lizanne says:

hmmm sounds much like Kabbalah, and other mystical paths where an animal or a "demon" or some type of creature image repsesents fearlessnes, that we can hang onto some envisioned representation for a perceived "protection" and it seems to work.

Mine, wynsong is the panther.....and my place now of incredible, warmth and safety is the hobbit hole ;D

Thanks Jeff Dumas, seriously! Hope you will come visit me for tea and stories there.....

hopefully, this is understandable?
How can I be anything other than who I am?

When I try to shorten posts, the information contained gets so condensed, and as Jo said once delivered a powerful punch......

I shall morph again, as what good does it do to be knowledgable if you have no friends to share it with......

I appreciate your input wynsong, and hope to have amazing conversations with you

-L

[lizanne333]

wynsong:

Quote from Dan Millman-Autumn 2004 Quarterlly

But it becomes clear to me that as much as we might wish to, we have no direct control over our emotional state. Nor do we need to. Our feelings don't have to be "fixed" in order to live well; neither do our thoughts. I am no longer in conflict with my thoughts or feelings. That doesn't mean I always like them (any more than I always like the weather.) But I co-exist with them just the same, while focusing on my behavior (and what needs to get done).

Thankyou for the link wynsong, did some reading this morning, and the above is what I found........

focusing on my behaviour..............choosing to act....rather than "reacting"

-L

[ob1kenob]

lizanne said:

How can I be anything other than who I am?

-L

"what I am is what I am"
-Edie Brickell

"I am what I am"
-Popeye

"Wherever you go, there you are."
-Buckaroo Banzai





ps...
Q: What did the zen student say to the hotdog vendor ?







A: make me one with everything







Q: Have you heard of the agnostic, dyslexic, insomniac ?







A: he satyed up all night wondering if there really is a dog.



also.....

Buddha, Jesus, and the Dali Lama are playing golf.
They tee off at the first hole.
Buddha swings first, gets fairly close to the hole.
Dali Lama swings, and gets fairly close to the hole.
Jesus smacks the ball way off to the left, it skips across a pond, rolls down a big hill the opposite direction from the hole, a squirrell grabs it like a nut and begins to bury it, while he's digging the hole an eagle swoops down from the sky and picks up the squirrell, the ball is still in the squirrell's mouth, as they pass over the flag, a gust of wind startles the squirrell and he drops the golfball from his grip, it falls hundreds of feet, and lands exactly in the hole, "plunk" HOLE IN ONE !

Dali Lama looks over at Buddha and says...
"looks like he's using his dad's clubs again"





oh yeah, and some topical stuff...

just now before I hit "post reply" I flipped open my messiah's handbook
and this is what I got...
"Disaster is change
It's oppertunity in a loose-fitting hooded garment"

[lizanne333]

Ob1know&b

thank you soooooovery much.......
Why do I need to be continually reminded!

laughinggggggggggggggggall the way to me guitar!!!to play again,
Thanks!

-L

btw you too can have tea with me in my hobbit hole!
you brring the cookies!

[Bluebird]

*imagines the hot dog vendor making the zen student one with everything by drenching him in ketchup and mustard*