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Post by guest on Jun 21, 2005 3:21:19 GMT -5
I'm blushing now.
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Post by Grave on Jun 22, 2005 0:13:51 GMT -5
Oh Yea Yea Soulmate.. I almost forgot about her... Or may be I forgot my age Thanks
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Post by eponine1971 on Jun 22, 2005 19:53:55 GMT -5
Grave, Forgot about your age? Is 25 too young or too old for soulmates?
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Post by wynsong on Jun 26, 2005 19:36:52 GMT -5
Hey, But to be happy is a gift you must recieve from yourself as well as your partner. I haven't written in this thread, because I feel wholly unqualified to do so... I spoke to my Mom about love...being in love with someone without reserve...It seems to be a foreign concept in my family to love someone unconditionally, outside of children...Scary! My ex believes he has an opportunity (third time) to finally have a relationship with his soulmate...If that is true, I wish that for him with all my being, and yet I have trouble believing in its reality, because it is so outside my experience to date.. I've spent the last 5 years, trying to find unconditional love inside me for me...so that if I find someone I could love that way, I will be ready to allow him to love me back...that on some level I will think I am deserving of that kind of love. I'm so glad you have all written your thoughts here...I so need to touch others perceptions of this. Thank you!
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Post by Bluebird on Jun 27, 2005 1:32:47 GMT -5
Something Leslie Parrish said never left the back of my mind: unconditional love is not to care about someone, what happens to that person and what that person does.
*just my opinion* I don't think unconditional ROMANTIC love is healthy. Sure, you can love your friend, family-member or anyone no matter what crime they commit, if you see his/her true nature is good. However, in a romantic relationship between two people unconditional love can make love die, in my personal opinion. Only if you have conditions such as respect, moral and honesty, a relationship stays healthy.
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Post by eponine1971 on Jun 27, 2005 12:28:48 GMT -5
I think you're confusing Love with commitment. I don't stop loving someone because the disrespect me or something like that. I may decide that the relationship is unhealthy and choose to leave it as I've done. But I don't just stop loving someone.
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Post by Bluebird on Jun 27, 2005 13:53:14 GMT -5
Eponine, I haven't been in such a situation, but I think I might. Theoretically. At least my love for that person would change a lot. It wouldn't come from respect and admiration, at least. I am not sure I personally could love without affection, and I cannot feel affection for someone I do not respect.
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Post by wynsong on Jun 27, 2005 14:18:19 GMT -5
I still love my ex, despite all that has happened and how he now sees me...but I would never live with him again.
He is still the man I married, and fell in love with and worked to love unconditionally, however, now my stories around why he does the things he does are not as shaded by what I wanted to see, what I hoped was...Not to say I see him accurately now, however, some things I clouded by myself to paint the picture I wished to see, I can no longer paint with the same brushes and palettes.
It is amazing to me how love has its own agenda....It would make my life more logical if I didn't love him....It would make my stories about my life more "appropriate"...but the love sneaks up on me constantly...and I just have to accept that I still love him. I don't think he is my soulmate ...he was a choice and the love grew from the choosing. The love didn't die, because he is still who he was, how he treats me doesn't alter the fact that I learned to love him that way. What has changed, is that I now believe that I deserve to be loved back...
Sorry! long response to the exchange between eponine1917 and Bluebird... I have found that I love when the respect is gone, even if I would prefer not to....I love even when I can not trust, or I can trust and it takes the form that I will not be cared for or taken care of...when I can trust that the person will use me, if I am not vigilant...I love, even when the person I am loving is being hurtful knowingly....It was a odd lesson.
I had to go back and take out the word 'can' from each of the "I love" statements...because I don't seem to be in control of the can or can't of it....the love is there, even if I try to deny it...which I have done....and that only seems to hurt me more, and complicate the heck out of the interactions...because my responses are then driven from a space I am denying.
The good news is it makes me laugh now, every time I feel the love welling up, despite the actuality of our exchanges.
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Post by Bluebird on Jun 27, 2005 14:52:28 GMT -5
wynsong, what you just said is a good example of how truths differ from person to person. The question is, who of us is "more enlightened", or are we both right? Does it really matter?
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Post by wynsong on Jun 27, 2005 15:43:39 GMT -5
wynsong, what you just said is a good example of how truths differ from person to person. The question is, who of us is "more enlightened", or are we both right? Does it really matter? I'm not in an enlightenment competition....and the post wasn't meant to infer that I am enlightened at all... That people experience their lifetimes differently is a given for me.... What I was actually trying to convey...was how surprised I was at the love that I obviously didn't get to have any control over. I can control whether I choose to live with him again, but not whether or not I love him....that just is there, whether I want it or not. No one was more surprised by that, than me. Sorry! long response to the exchange between eponine1917 and Bluebird... My post, Bluebird, was a response to the posts you and eponine1917 had put up....not a rebuttal, or an answer...your posts got me thinking...and my post is the result of it. I can absolutely assure you, I don't believe I have any particular stake in enlightenment...far from it....that is why I come to these forums...not to teach but to be prompted to think...to see with new eyes...other peoples' eyes based on how they post, how they tell their stories. Namaste!
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Post by Bluebird on Jun 28, 2005 1:12:25 GMT -5
I'm not in an enlightenment competition....and the post wasn't meant to infer that I am enlightened at all... Neither am I. I guess I wrote it with some humor behind the words. It's just a thought I came up with, since we both have found an opposite way of thinking which suits us well. It got me thinking of relative truths, and if any of them or all of them are correct. The paradox of it!
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Post by Grave on Jun 28, 2005 7:36:24 GMT -5
Grave, Forgot about your age? Is 25 too young or too old for soulmates? 25 is not too late, but I feel too old for such a search. I guess I feel old because I'd been looking for her since I was 13. I'm not dreamy about my soulmate as I used to be. Grave
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Post by Bluebird on Jun 28, 2005 10:40:24 GMT -5
I'm still dreamy about my soulmate.
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Post by eponine1971 on Jun 28, 2005 18:35:14 GMT -5
Grave, Forgot about your age? Is 25 too young or too old for soul mates? 25 is not too late, but I feel too old for such a search. I guess I feel old because I'd been looking for her since I was 13. I'm not dreamy about my soul mate as I used to be. Grave Let me tell you a story. After I had left my husband, got dumped by my fiance`, I was sure there was no one. I felt I had a price to pay for divorcing. I thought Love had abandoned me, that I would be alone forever. Sex is just great. It does release tension and quicken the heart rate. But the excitement is gone as the blood cools. And then I just happened to pick up this guy at the mall. We played email tag for a while until he offered to give me a ride home from work (we worked just a couple stores away from each other). As we walked out to the car, I felt something I had not felt in a while. Butterflies. Like I was 16 again. Like I was this silly girl instead of the cool, confident woman I had been with other men. We made love that night and he played his sax for me the next day. My fate was sealed as soon as he put the reed to his mouth. I wasn't looking, Grave. I didn't think Love was out there for me. I thought at best the most I could hope for was multi-orgasmic sex. Lucky me. I found both. And just in case you're wondering. I live with my saxophonist now.
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Post by richardish on Jun 28, 2005 19:57:24 GMT -5
I think I'll start taking some music lessons. Whoa!!
I'm still dreamy about my soulmate !
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